


pour my thoughts (into separate beds)

by Sotong_sotong



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 15:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sotong_sotong/pseuds/Sotong_sotong
Summary: you're terrible, Hajime says to him.i know, Tooru says.in many more ways than you can dream.





	pour my thoughts (into separate beds)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sports Anime Shipping Olympics 2017 Bonus Round 2, prompt: i guess i'll never learn.
> 
> This was done in lapslock. Title's from Made in Heights' "Pirouette".

_you're terrible_ , Hajime says to him as the girls fawn and wave.

_i know_ , Tooru says. _in many more ways than you can dream._

he leaves Hajime like that, so bent to entertain what's left of lunch break with the bunch, that now, won't stop squealing as he nears them. they all ask about him: how's his day been, what's volleyball like if they could try it, has he got a new girlfriend, has he found another one, has he finally found room for romance to stay--

_yes and no_ , you cut off, just to play safe. _yes; my day's been good, could be more incredible but whatever, and yes, try volleyball, even if just once, you'll find it surprisingly fun._

they perk up at that, at his backing, vowing to _try something new!_ this weekend, until one shyly speaks up, curious to know: _and what about the no?_

he grins, a slightly sharp one, not meant to intimidate, but more to acknowledge his woe (and secretly, his delight) at how observant she is: _no, i do not have a girlfriend at the moment. i do not have anyone._

_oh, isn't that terrible?_ and they seem genuinely disheartened by the emptiness of Tooru's love life. _terrible, terrible, terrible?_

so they fall right into his hands: _why is it so terrible when i already have you all?_

he leaves them blushing, just as the bell rings, and he feels accomplished when they call _take care!_ as he winks. another day's work done, all in all.

 

***

 

_you're terrible_ , Hajime points out as Tooru's jump serve lands them another consecutive point.

_don't you mean_ , Tooru begins, horribly eager to make the vein starting to pop on Hajime's forehead twitch, _terribly good?_

the opposing team calls for a timeout then, as if to attempt to break Tooru's scoring streak, but oh, how he wants to rub it in their faces, tell them it's all futile.

after running back to the benches and grabbing a sip, Hajime looks to him for a moment, and continues, saying: _yeah, you're that, you're good._

the whistle goes off; they need to be back on the court.

a second before the game resumes, just as they fit back into position, Tooru hears it:

_but you're also still terrible._

 

***

 

_you're terrible_ , Hajime hisses, catching Tooru spending another day too long in the gym.

the air's stuffy, his shirt clings to him like a second skin, and all Tooru's got on the mind is how can he beat that first year, how can he stand taller, run further, burn brighter for his team to shine--

he doesn't realise his hands are shaking until Hajime stills them by their wrists.

_let's go home._   it's not an invitation; it's an order.

for once, Tooru relents, packs his things up without further say, and ignores the way Hajime seeks his eyes out.

he doesn't want to make nice today.

he doesn't want think of what's making his heart feel so heavy.

 

***

 

_i'm terrible_ , Tooru faces it one day, years and years later. _it's something i'll never unlearn._

he whispers this to Hajime's collarbone, dipping his finger into the shadows that seemingly pool on his clavicle. they're on his bed, more tangled up than the sheets they've kicked off in their earlier haste, and the darkness cocoons them in a midnight lull, the kind that makes Tooru more willing to talk about things he's got shelved inside.

tonight, he concludes: _it's so hard to change._

wanna know what i think? Hajime's fingers walk along the knobs of Tooru's spine. _you're terrible because you want to make sure the girls are always happy, you make it a daily chore, which isn't so bad, until you realise how much socialising take its toll._

_you're terrible in games, only because you're so hungry to win that you just devastate them all. but, also, you've never forgotten what's it like to lose, so you never talk shit, even when you said you would._

_what's this, what's this now?_ Tooru mock sneezes into Hajime's shoulder. _never has Iwa-chan praised the great Oikawa-san this much in all nineteen years of his life!_

_cheeky._ Hajime rewards him with a kick on the ankle. _mostly, i think, you're terrible on yourself, but you're getting better._

_so much better_ , he echoes again, as if to drive home the point. he smiles up then, at the ceiling, like it's a friend he's had as old as Hajime. _that's good to know._

He pretends to be offended when Hajime snorts, rolling his eyes, saying _it's good that you finally realised it, idiot_ ,but the pride is unmistakable in his voice.

(Tooru sleeps well that night.)


End file.
